2026-02-10_not ready yet

i am not quite ready yet. and i don’t know if i ever will be before it happens. and i also don’t think i’ll stop having to ready myself for each and every coming day when fascism reaches its most acute phase in this country i currently live in. this continent really.

i can see it on the horizon. and i know from reading history & present that i will have to change in ways & do things that i can only strain to imagine at this point in time.

i might die.

much earlier than i thought only a couple of years ago.

it’s good and necessary to start grieving already. grieving not only all those possibilities of m(y) life that will never come to fruition (no matter if i die sooner rather than later or not), but all of our possibilities for joy & community, care & pain that will be and are already being taken from us (and all that have already been taken).

grieve & fear now, so you’ll be more ready & able to fight in the coming battles.

i may die “well before my time”, but m(y) people will not.

and no one can take that away from me. just like they can’t take my capacities to act with/in that most hallowed of principles: solidarity. they cannot take my capacities to fight & resist & care to the end, where-, when-, and however (bitter) it might end up being.